Love you Anyway

This is a series (7 days) of posts I did on Facebook back in 2016. I decided to post it here on as a reminder:

I was nominated several days ago from my mother-in-law to do I love your spouse challenge. At first I thought I wasn't going to do it. I didn't want to put pictures of us up smiling like everything is perfect when our life it's total chaos. Then I decided I can do the challenge my way.

Day one: Love you anyways challenge.

I am sitting here eating dinner alone. Dave is off at scouts. I wish I could say that I am never jealous of his time away, that I don't get upset at times like tonight when it took an hour to make a salad for dinner while taking care of the 4 youngest alone. That I didn't grumble when I finally sat down and the baby messed her diaper. When I was interrupted a second time because the toddler took the messy diaper as a challenge. But, at the end of the day I know our boys lives are better for the dedication you show them. I know that countless boys in the valley are blessed by your service. So I will love you anyway David.

Day 2: Love you anyway. 

I think the concept was lost on some people. I'm not complaining about my husband or my life.  I wanted to do the challenge in a way that didn't pretended that everything was grand all the time and that we never have trials. I wanted to make a point that we struggle, we raise our voice, we get hurt feelings, we get it wrong sometimes. But, we still find love. Too often people 'compare their behind the scenes to other people's highlight reels'. So I am doing this challenge with behind the scenes. That being said, I'm posting a picture of a quote hanging in my bathroom. Its not hanging there because I do what it says all the time. I don't- I get it wrong. But it reminds me what I should at least aim for. It's there to remind me- on the days Dave says something epically stupid or does the wrong thing: Love you anyway David. ❤️

Day 3: Love you Anyway

When Dave and I were in our mid twenties and Zach was a baby, Dave was carded for buying fireworks. I asked the lady how old you need to be to buy fireworks. She said 15, he looked young enough to be questioned on being 15. 😒 I've been asked before if he was my son. 😠 Here's the good news. When I'm 80, I'm going to look like a cougar married to a 40 year old. For that David, I love you anyway.

Day 4: Love you anyway.

You know that huge manual that comes with things like a camera that no one really reads?  Dave reads it, cover to cover. Believe me, it's an annoying habit to those of us normal people who push all the buttons until we figure it out. 

However if you are like me and said you would never feed your kid in the car, then suddenly end up the type of person who chucks nuggets into the back seat- you get a messy car seat. Someone has to figure out how to get all those straps back on the car seat after it gets cleaned. For that David, I love you anyway.

Day 5: Love you anyway. 

Not all gender roles and cliches are real. Dave does change just as many diapers as I do and even does mine and his laundry. But I will never be convinced that in general men can multi task as well as women. My dear husband can't even successfully convince me he's listening to me on the phone and catch Pokemon at the same time.  

One of the more tragic mishaps from lack of multi tasking was an incident that happened back in 2011. 

For our 11th wedding anniversary I asked Dave to hike Angels Landing in Zion with me and two of my friends. It was scary and awesome. I have bad ankles and felt like I couldn't rely on them so when I got scared to jump I would sit and scoot down little cliffs. After the hike Dave and I went to dinner. I was concerned that all that scooting had dirtied my pants. I turned around and asked Dave if my pants were ok. He said they were and we went into the restaurant and ate. Later when I arrived home my mother said, "Do you know what you look like!?" I rolled my eyes at her. Of course I know I'm dirty mother, I just spent 8 hours climbing a mountain. Then she explains my pants to me. I felt behind me. I had scooted on the sandstone and worn two big holes in my butt. Like my life flashing before my eyes, (because I think I may have died a little at that moment) I saw myself walking around the restaurant, even through it at one point to use the rest room, then back to the moment in the lobby where Dave "checked" my pants. Reliving the moment I realized my mistake- Dave had his iPhone in his hand when he responded that I looked ok. Clearly iphoning and glancing at your wife is too much multi tasking.  

I can say this for my husband. He  isn't ashamed to be in public with me when I don't look my best. 😏 For this David, I love you anyway.

Day 6: Love you anyway. 

I'm tired and didn't even want to post. Work has been hard lately. In the past 4 months I have only been home every day of the week twice. There have been so many nights away, I feel like I'm always looking in the rear view mirror. Some days like today, I am home and it's still a blur. Strait from work, it's dinner then off to take the kids to the Rec center so they can say they saw outside. I think there are more words in this post than I have been able to say to Dave today. Some days you don't get to be spouses, just co-parents. But I am glad I have a co-parent and can put myself on a pity party time out. For that David, I love you anyway.

Day 7: Love you anyway-

We are a mixed marriage. One of is a Mayo person, and the other person is insane. Dave likes a quiet ride, and I think a car is a mobile karaoke stage. Dave cocoons himself while he sleeps and I have to have a fan on. I just "remember what I spent" and Dave balances his checkbook and makes spread sheets of how much was spent in each category. 🙄

When you get married you take two childhoods, two backgrounds, two beliefs and views of the world and shove them together. It gets more complicated when you add children in the mix. Now you have to agree on a way of not messing up another human. 

For the most part, I can find benefits to being different. It's been good for our children to know we don't always agree. It helps them realize that you can disagree with someone yet love them. That you can respect their decisions even if you don't agree with them. 

Except liking Miracle Whip. That's just wrong.  

But, I love you anyway David.